Of child abuse and fathers turning monsters

The hullabaloo caused by British Prime Minister David Cameroon’s remarks seems to be dying down while at the same time the message has been sent; a big NO to same sex marriages. But, though we were quick to dismiss Cameroon, calling him all sorts of names, I am reminded of a saying we used to tell those who always wanted freebies that ‘kitu cha bure duniani ni jua tu.’

This means that we can’t expect Britain and other countries to pump millions if not billions of US dollars or pounds to poor countries without them gaining something. At the end of the day, all aid comes with strings attached, whether visible or invisible. The sooner we learn that nothing is for free the better and easier we will understand Cameroon’s position.

Though as a nation we cannot be forced into having laws that are against our norms and values, it is high time we refrain from relying on aid. We are poor yes, but we should try all by means to stop extending our hands to receive every time. Even the Bible tells us that it is blessed to give than to receive.

Cameroon is right to say what he said because it is his country and they have no moral obligation to help any country in as much as we don’t have any moral obligation to change our laws. To call a spade, a spade, we should move away from aid because as long as we are still getting aid, we will always be told what to do.

Let it be a lesson to us to strive to be self reliant so that no one can try to recolonise us. This country is rich and if we could utilize our resources then we can go far. As we celebrate 50 years of independence, can we as a country look back and be proud of our achievements? It is a question that I ask you dear reader today.

I believe the issue of same sex marriages has been buried and is fast becoming water under the bridge. The choice is ours.

I have written about it before and by nature it should be a tired story but it seems as if the society is turning a blind eye to it. Children are now an endangered species and I wonder what kind of future generation we are preparing.

When reading through newspapers I came across this shocking story. It is a stranger than fiction story and I believe it qualifies to be turned into a script for a Bongo movie.

Two female strangers’ curiosity last week, led to the dramatic rescue of an eight-year-old girl who had been tied almost hanging from the roof crossbars by her mother. This was a punishment for allegedly stealing 500/-.

The women who were walking past the house around 2:30pm heard a feeble voice crying for help in a locked room. They called police officers to ascertain what the matter was with the crying child in a locked room. When the police officers broke the padlock, they found the child hanging on the bar in pain.

The child is also said to have been found with severe burns on her buttocks and hands which she said were inflicted on her by her mother after accusing her of failing to do house chores. The girl was taken to hospital for treatment.

It is a shame that such cases continue to happen and what pains most is the fact that the perpetrators are close relatives who in actual sense are supposed to protect the little ones. I have for a long time been writing about mothers who ill-treat their children. Some of them behave as if they were total strangers to their children and it’s a shame because motherly love is what has made what the society is today.

Many people are what they are now because of their mothers who gave them maximum love at a time where fathers maintained their distances. I know this trend might be fast changing, but it is a fact that many children are closer to their mothers than fathers as they are said to be having a softer heart.

The issue of having women ill-treating their own children was unheard of and men were the ones notorious for that. I know of families where children had to go to sleep every time their father either enters the room or arrives at home.

One of my readers highlighted to me that one of the stories, published recently on child abuse was one sided. It touched more on women abusing children while it was silent on the role of men on child abuse. Today, dear reader, the issue of men abusing children, not necessarily theirs is fast growing as well. Many children have their lives shattered and will have to live with the trauma of having been sexually abused.

I remember coming across a T-shirt written ‘acheni wawe ndege mayai hana mchuzi’. Loosely translated it means that people should wait for the bird’s eggs to hatch first and probably eat the bird later, as the eggs are too small to be cooked into a meaningful meal.

This statement advises men to leave these young girls and children to grow into adulthood rather than rushing to rape a small girl whose sexual organs are not even ready for that. It is a shame that things like this continue to happen and sexually abusing a child is tantamount to slapping him or her with a death sentence. The child will live to remember the abuse that will affect the rest of hi or her life.

Some men have turned into animals by sexually abusing children, what is shocking most is that some of them abuse young boys. I am not saying that only girls should be abused but, what I am alluding to is the point that they will be doing what the whole nation was up against, Sodomy. Daggers were drawn last week when the British PM suggested that we include it in our laws.

I don’t know why we are not complaining with the same intensity, when children are sodomised and at the same time little girls are raped. More should be done to protect these children so that they have a better tomorrow. Many stories of men raping or abusing children have been awash in our media and, although we know that the law usually take its course, the increase in these cases is worrying.

Let these children grow to become adults before you can think of touching them. When they grow up, they will be independent and wise enough to make their own decisions. The society should unite in fighting child abuse. Whether the abuser is the mother, father, relative or stranger to the child deterrent measures should be taken. Let’s get rid of child abusers and make this country a better place.

bongoblast@thisday.co.tz/symeniah.blogspot.com/0657651300